I went into the car today

And mum said

' JUST CAME BACK FROM PADDY FIELD AR?! '

I feel like a 肮脏猫 D:
Heh. 肮脏猫 :P hahahahaha!!


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One man show?

You betcha.


Today I felt really really woozy and sick ): went home and checked my temperature and yup! Running a temperature, but not that high :x


So drowsy the whole day, missed add maths part where I didn't understand )': cause I fell asleep ): gonna go apologise tomorrow /: know how much she hates people sleeping in class /:


Hijau was.. Mm okay I guess :D all the form 2 juniors that passed by were all quite amazed and they were like HIJAU JIAYOU! HIJAU ROCKS!! :D and we all cheered!! (: (: felt happy though inside I was thinking
' if you love hijau so much why haven't I seen YOU help out eh? '


Oh well, learnt to be tolerant towards by-standers (:


Today I walked to the LRT station alone, and somehow it felt.. Quiet ._. yea I purposely wanted to walk cause I needed time for myself, to think without the distraction of technology /:


Outcome? The song Jetlag kept playing over and over in my head. And I realised how desperate was I to go to prom with someone ): I just want someone to escort me ): and slow dance with me and tell me I'm pretty ): sigh.

But what's even worse, I'm becoming weaker and weaker and I think I'd give in to him if I see him ): even if he doesn't, I'm afraid I'll beg him to come back )': jeez. No face at all weih. No shame at all..

But though deep down I just wanna cry it all out, I have to persevere cause I have still a lot to do! Hari sukan is in a few days and what I've looked forward to since I was form 1! Finally I have the honour to help my house!! Oh gosh, the feeling is really indescribable (':


And next week's my interview that'll determine my future, whether I stay here or leave the nest /: tough decisions ahead. And I've gotten all my documents ready cept my reference letter, which I have no idea how to write /: dad says don't be modest at all! But I don't wanna sound TOO cocky? ):


Really proud of my forecast results though (: but some of em are a fake ): hey, I got my results a day after the boy of my dreams dumped me like a potato. Dont I deserve to be slightly happy? ):



Feeling really tired now.. But I think I'm gonna go study (: Or watch Southpark.




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Creepy stalker guy

Scares me.


):

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HAPPY DAY!! :D :D

My cosmotots essay got featured on commendable work this week!! :D :D




I'm sorry I'm boasting :P I finally got commendable work after a year and a half!! :D :D so happyyyyy <3 (: (:



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Had one of the best days ever!! <3

With Xian, Darrion, Tecky, Chris and Xian An (:

Met GnG, Kuan Yee, Wei Zhong, Zhen Yuan and Howser at edufair in midvalley (: was good to finally be round guys and not feel guilty (: (:

Had lunch with em and we watched Ladda Land. DAMN SCARY/ FUNNY xD omg totally love them lah (: made my day (: (:

But then when I came home.. I kept thinking..


Does he miss me..? Would he wanna start over and be like last time? Really close friends and all..? Will I be so blind to forget the fact he totally betrayed my trust and our promise..? Do I want him back?


Sigh.


One of my wishes this year, oh well since it won't ever come true, saying it out loud won't jinx it ): I wished I could go to prom with someone, and that someone would hold me in his arms and slow dance with me and sweet talk me ): is that so much to ask for? ): thats like every girl's dream, have a guy take her to prom and tell her she's beautiful..
oh well, we don't always get what we want..


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We were at the parking lot

And I asked my pa, where's mum? :O


And he bent down to look under a car. ._.


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Found this on twitter (:

I just don't know if i wanna do it anymore, get close to somebody so they can leave again. - One Tree Hill.



Theres a reason why I don't retweet or tweet anymore for the matter of fact ):



But OH WELL! was looking forward to dad's Mines family night thingy so I'd get to see HOT RUCH GUYS! Omg, the last time I came here, there were HOT RICH GUYS! Ahh.. Stare stare stare :3


But this time I only saw one ): MAAAAANN! dressed up or nothing! And most probably this one already has a girlfriend ): the rest of em are so much younger than me -.-


BUT! in consolation! I found the second best thing!! :D :D




MINI FRUIT TARTS! and ASSORTED CAKES!! :D

Didn't have a picture of the super beautifully decorated cakes cause.. Umm.. Well.. I ate them.



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The reason I'm still smiling (:

People ask me, how do I feel after what has happened, I just smile and say I'm fine (:

Though sometimes I hide the pain with that plastic smile, I can tell you that smile is no longer plastic.

Thanks to them,




I'm able to get back on my feet so quickly, and of course not forgetting with the grace of God (:
( that's the only picture with 4 of us in it ): sad kan D: )

Though I'd really miss the times we spent, all the things we did, but it's your choice and I cannot do anything about it. Though I feel sad and really betrayed, I take it as an obstacle I have to face in life, and I know with the strength of the Holy spirit and the comfort of my friends. I'll recover in no time! And my eyes will be sharper than ever when it comes to these kind of things in the future. No longer will I be blind and no longer will I trust a guy so easily.


So in harsher terms, thank you for destroying the hopes in me that I'd actually find my prince charming and we'd have a happily ever after (: I learnt my lesson (:







Random :p


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Hey!

To the 2 people who know this blog. .___. hahaha! There will be more! But I'm just gonna lay low for awhile :P


I love blogging! And I'm ever so sorry dear blog for glooming this place up so often ): will do it less now! (:


I know deep inside I'm not okay, but for now, I'm happy, not thinking about it (: I'm gonna work hard for hijau, and we're gonna win this! And after that.. UHH.. don't know what I'll do ._.

船到桥头自然直! (:

Btw, HEY MIYO HEY MABE! :D MWAH!

They'll never find me here!
-sinister giggles- (:


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Ate 2 spoons of rice

And drank water all the way. Cause I suddenly thought of the people who called me fat ): somehow got used to him calling me fatty, but sometimes I wished I had a better pet name than fatty.


So hungry after gym but I'm gonna hold it in. Cause I'm fat.


I ate a piece of potato chip today afternoon. And I felt? You guessed it. Fat. I felt damn disgusted with myself after that.


That's how.. Fat. I am now.



Omg I just feel like crying all my.. Fats. Out now.


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Seems like

Almost all my friends are having boyfriend problems /:

My timeline is seriously spammed with pissed off girlfriends at their boyfriends who don't know how to reply/ start conversations/ give GENUINE apologies/ talk to them when they're sad instead of focusing on stupid things like Pokemon.


Don't get me wrong, I love Pokemon, but when you ditch your DEPRESSED girlfriend for something that doesn't even EXIST. you're an ass.


Gee, some guys just don't GET IT! She's been SUPER patient with you, putting up with your BULLSHIT, and this is how you say you're sorry?! Omg if i see you in real life, and in private, i wouldnt hesitate to choke you. You so totally remind me of someone right now -.-



so pissed off and I can TOTALLY feel the frustrated vibe twitter timeline is giving out :x


Its so true what couz says, after the chase, everything dies. If it doesn't, just marry him already.



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Sigh )':

Poor couzie ): ):

Boys these days just are so insincere -.-


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I HAD THE BEST DREAM EVER?!?!

HIJAU GOT 1st IN DECO!! :D :D

Sadly it was only just a dream )':


I WISH IT WAS REAL!!


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Mm.

A girl's reaction to shoes.








Now, a BOY's reaction to shoes




u_u I want a gay best friend that'll go OMG when I say I bought discounted shoes ):



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Uh oh :/

BURPPP! (:

EH HEH HEH :D


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No distractions

No distractions at all.

Tomorrow,
CSS mass, second reading :S NERVOUS!! ): ): Really proud to do this though (: (:

And...


OPERATION THE BIG MOVE!! :D :D :D

It's gonna be EPIC!! (: (: damn. Really really really want to go for Friday practice tomorrow )': I don't wanna be alone on a Friday night ): I need to be with people like them <3 they never fail to make me smile <3


And now that I've laid down my priorities..


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After the chase

Everything else just dies down. So true, so true.



Screw it, we shall win this! (: Shall work on project hijau, no distractions whatsoever!! (:


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I wanna feel like a princess

Just for that one night, just for that moment, make me the happiest girl in the world, when you tell me you love me ):


No, I'm not talking bout prom -.-


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I used to be able to

Watch Titanic and go aww (':
But now,

Whenever I watch Titanic I cry like crazy ):

Why did you have to bring out the emotional side of me )':


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I'll be the happiest girl ever

If I could relive that one night (':

Wow, I dream of it everytime, and I think, if that really happened to me again, I'd actually cry (':


I really really really want to do it all again if given a chance, I think about it ALL the time ): sometimes I even cry when I think about how simple love was then (: so innocent and easy (:


That night was seriously a fairytale, by far the best night of my life (': if only, if only ):


Just one special night, please..? ): those lights, the sounds, your hand in mine, mine in yours, nothing beats that feeling (':




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Sigh

When a helpless romantic, needs romance in her relationship





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I wanna be different

I wanna change,
I don't wanna be boring fat mandy anymore ):


Total makeover after Hari Sukan <3 top to toe baby!


I wanna feel the burn, I wanna feel the pain baybeh! (;



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I wish..

People would stop calling me fat )':

Throws me into a bottomless pit of depression ):


I know I'm not hot, or I don't have the body or skinny and all, so please stop making me feel sad.


Seriously, no one even consoled me, everyone just keeps asking me to eat less and exercise more.


Sigh


I feel like digging a hole in the earth and burying myself alive.





Fat.



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I'm so tired )':

Didn't even touch my homework and I'm super tired right now.


But whatsapping my dear brother, and somethings really troubling him ): I know it seems like he's always cold and mean to me, but I hope he genuinely sees me as a friend who wants to help him ):


I love him so much, and I wouldn't let anything hurt him ): I hope he understands that ): when I see him so sad, a little part of me dies a little, cause he means so much to me than just a normal friend. I hope he knows I love him like a brother and opens his heart and mind soon.



Snap out of it, love, she ain't worth your tears

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Came back from camp yesterday!

But was too lazy to blog bout it :P


Camp was awesome! Minus my sucky leader. Seriously? Should I blog bout how sucky he is? :O yeah maybe later, gonna do my homework D: even though I'm so tired ): ):


MUST. TAHAN.


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Awake at 4am

Woke up. Cried like some hobo. Trying to find someone that can cheer me up at this time of night/day )':


Since I cant, I shall try to sleep then )': sigh..


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Why don't you confront me?

Immediately burst into tears when I thought about you



Picture worth a thousand words.

On the other hand,

Goodbye bed (: going to camp! Will really miss you ):


Thank God I have 3G so I can still blog :D


I WILL MISS YOU SPIKE!! <3 Love you so much! (:


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I'm an idiot.

An immature. Self-centred. Overly sensitive. Useless. Idiot.


I bet when you read this post you'd go,' good that you know that '.


Please please, let this nightmare end. I can't stand pretending anymore )':


How much time I've spent looking through everything we had. Cried so long, knowing that it'll never be the same again.




Time please move faster. I don't wanna lose this.


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I know what I must do

It's practically pointless to keep doing this, so I'm just gonna suck it up, and wait.


For the time being, whenever something strays a bit further, I'll back off. I'll keep my distance, like how you have kept yours.


I feel like I'm fighting for a lost cause. But I know it can be made right.


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I don't wanna cry myself to sleep

But you are that worth it <3 never realised how much I love you till I came this close to losing you..


Night


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I forgot what it's like

To see the man I love the most in this world, smile like that <3


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I really don't know what's wrong with me

I'm really, this close to losing my patience with you.
I'm this close to giving up.
I'm this close to stop caring.



I really don't know what's wrong with me, and I'm pretty sure it's not the stress. I'm not saying a word till I hear the words I wanna hear.



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Meh

' boys are like that. During the chase, they'll be everything you want in a guy. But when they get you, they can be everything you dread. '

-anonymous


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Today was a good good day!

Hijau was quite productive (: (compared to the other houses) :P

Cause the marchers came to help!! And we managed to cover 2 layers of the surf board slash leaf. Ehh heh we'll decide what it looks like when we colour it xD mm the dino is quite stable now (: thanks to Kenji's idea of rafia stringing the spikes downwards :x




And everything I planned to do for the day (p/s: day ends at 5) they finished at 1! Wow! (: mm OH YEAH! We started a FIRE!

:D :D I mean not exactly we, just Kenji. ._. LOL







Backwood style yo!
And yes, I have no idea what backwood means. That's what the scouts called it so I guess it should be right. LOL

My hair still smells like smoke -.- Teck Kuan lah ): ):


But then after that we went in and I did the dino and I let Kenji and Vivian do the surf board slash leaf cause well EH HEH (: then me and Teck Kuan changed the songs to sappy love songs <3 xD


But when Teck Kuan left I was all alone doing the dino ): and thats where I felt damn emo ): looking at them makes me feel so jealous ):


Then after Teck Kuan came back, we talked bout the more deeper things and well it didn't feel good ): and after talking to a lot of friends who have partners who can't live without em, I realised.


It's better to have a boyfriend that can't live a day without you than a guy who can.



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Green eyed monster

Why do I have this sudden urge to show my true colours to you?


I wish I was her sometimes, no lies no pretences, speak their mind, nothing to hide.


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