I don't know why

I still constantly torture myself by listening to songs i used to listen to remind me about us, the songs that you dedicated to me, and the songs that made me feel secure about our relationship.


I cry everytime a song reminds me how much you used to love me, how much you used to care, how you promised you wouldn't let anything happen to me, how we would never fall apart..


I cry whenever I see our photos, I remember the moments when you make me realize that I made no mistake loving you.


I cry whenever I read the messages you sent me, leading up to the break up. And I cry, and cry, the fact that I totally surrendered everything up to you, and when I'm most vulnerable, you leave..


I realize it's all my fault, that I screwed up big time, and there's no way you're gonna trust me when I tell you I'm willing to change and compromise. I realize that I underestimated the problem, I belittled it, when in fact, it is something that would make a person go into a whirl pool of regret if they even came close to doing what I did..


Why couldn't I see the problem before it got bigger? Why couldn't I see my faults? Why am I so problematic?


I'm not saying I deserve your forgiveness, I'm just saying I wished there was something I could do now.. I really hope you forgive me..


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone